How Much is that Doggy in the Window
by Mademoiselle Obvious
Summary: Very AU. SiriusRemus. When Remus wanders into a pet store, he meets a mysterious black dog. Who is it! couh Really hard to figure out, neh?


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sirius _or_ Remus. /goes away to cry/

**A/N:** Alright alright. I know I should be writing What They Didn't Tell Him..but screw you. This little plot bunny viciously attacked me when I woke up this morning. So I wrote it after writing some Veteran's Day crap for English. I do hope you like this story.

XxX

Remus Lupin was walking through Muggle-London one day, just enjoying the—not-so-fresh—air, when he happened upon a pet store. As always, Remus was compelled to go inside and make appreciative squealing noises over the puppies.

As he walked inside, he was greeted by the somewhat overpowering smell of dog food, cat food, and all other varieties of animal food. He glanced up at the bright yellow sign hanging just inside the door. It advertised "ALL ANIMALS 50 OFF!"

The assistant behind the counter barely glanced at him before returning to her trashy romance novel. Remus rolled his eyes at the lack of interest before heading to the back of the store to stare at dogs.

He petted the glass and "oohed" and "ahed" at a few of the dogs before turning to a large black thing. It was huge. Paws the size of small plates, with a body that could rival a small pony. It stared at him. Its tongue lolled out. It whined and pawed the glass, straining to reach him. Remus stared back. It was really rather scruffy looking. But those eyes…

The dog had ice-blue eyes. Eyes that reminded Remus of someone. Someone who had been missing for a while. Remus noted the dull, bronze collar.

He turned and marched out to the counter. The spiky-haired woman continued to read her book. Remus coughed. After a long-suffering sigh, the woman looked up. "What?" she demanded.

Remus thought for a moment about asking her whether or not her parents had taught her any manners before disregarding the idea. It didn't matter. "One of your dogs." he said. "I think I might like to buy it. Is there someplace where I can get to know it a little better?"

The woman glared at him for interrupting her reading before throwing down the book. "Yeah." she snapped. "Which dog?"

"The large black one in the back. With the bronze collar." Remus specified.

"Oh yah, that one. Not terribly friendly." she smirked. After pointing to a door and stalking down towards the dogs, the woman called over her shoulder, "Go on in, make yourself comfortable. I'll bring 'im in in a sec'."

Remus opened the door handle and flicked on a light switch. A second later he rather wished he hadn't. The room was quite squalid. It was dark—even with the light on—and dank, and there appeared to be dirt on every visible surface.

With great trepidation Remus wiped off a plastic chair with the edge of his coat and sat down.

And waited.

And waited some more.

Finally, the woman came in. She was panting. And dragging along a dog. "Stupid brute!" she shrieked. "Get the fuck in here! This idiot wants to buy you, but he won't for much longer if you keep this up!" With a last wrench, she had the dog inside.

She leapt out of the room and closed the door with tremendous speed.

Remus turned to stare at the dog.

The dog stared back

Remus blinked.

The dog blinked back.

"Hi" said Remus.

The dog continued to blink.

"Er." said Remus. He had hoped by now that something would have happened.

Nothing happened.

"So…" started Remus. "Nice…weather..we're having. Not too cold, not too warm, no humidity. And it hasn't rained for a _week_! I went to a nice game of Quiddich last week. The Chudley Cannons versus Leed's Locusts. Cannons were thrashed—as usual. Harry played brilliantly on the Locusts, though. And after the game I went for a cup of tea with him and Snape. They're getting quite close, you know. I'm sure Sirius would kill them both." Remus turned to gaze at the dog. It hadn't even flinched. He heaved a sigh. "I guess you aren't Sirius then, are you? I was so sure of it this time, too.."

Remus wiped the tears starting to leak down his cheeks before standing up. "Well pooch," he addressed the dog, "You've been a wonderful sport. Thanks for sitting and humoring an old man. Perhaps," he said thoughtfully, "Perhaps the next one…" Remus scratched the dogs head.

The hair under his hand suddenly changed from short and dog-like to long and human-like. Remus gasped and looked down. Sitting under his hand was Sirius.

Sitting under his hand was _naked_ Sirius. One of the awkward things that happened when one morphed into an animal was the loss of clothing. Nonetheless, Remus threw himself at the dark-haired man.

"_SIRIUS_!" he screeched. "Oh Sirius! Where the hell have you _been_! I've been looking _forever_ for you!"

Sirius stroked his hair and murmured into his ear. "Ah Remus, my old friend. Here and there…You know."

"Oh Sirius!" sobbed Remus. "Ten _years_. How could you leave me alone for ten years!"

"Remus…" breathed Sirius. "Oh Remus. I had to leave. And I had to avoid you until I was ready. But, how I've missed you." Sirius breathed deeply of Remus's hair, his nose tingling with the cinnamony scent that permeated Remus's tawny hair.

Remus mumbled something noncoherent before looking up. "What? What do you mean until you were ready? Ready for what?"

Sirius chuckled. "I had to make sure my feelings were true." He smiled at Remus's confused look. "When I left, those many years ago, I thought I was in love with you."

"What!" squeaked Remus.

"So I decided to go away for a while, try to figure out if I really _did_ love you. It took a while." Sirius smirked. "But I've realized that I _do_ love you. I love you Remus."

"What!" squeaked Remus.

Sirius leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Remus's lips. "I love you," he murmured against them.

Remus continued making faint squeaking noises.

Sirius chuckled again and pulled his wand out of thin air. He muttered a quick spell and looked down at his suddenly appeared clothes. "It'll do..Come on, then."

He pulled Remus up and steered him out of the door, waving and smiling merrily at the spiky-haired woman, who looked on confusedly.

As they walked out into Muggle-London, Remus suddenly came back to himself and gawked at Sirius. "You love me?" he asked. "But that's impossible! But quite lucky, now that I think about it. You know, I've loved you forever." he said, quite matter-of-factly.

Sirius smiled fondly at him. "Only you," he said. "Would say such a thing in such a tone. Now, would you like something to eat? I'm quite famished myself. Eating dog food for ten years really leaves the taste-buds somewhat lacking." When Remus nodded, Sirius smiled and pulled out his wand, disregarding the large crowd of Muggles surrounding them. "Ah, we'll be together for quite a while, old friend."

"New love," replied Remus, smiling back.

"Yes indeed," said Sirius. He waved his wand. "And away we go…"

XxX

**A/N:** Right..I'm not planning on writing anything more. But ... if the mood strikes me, I will. Bwhahah. oo;


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